MEGA WEDGIE!
by Ai-Kyung-Wei
Summary: What happens when Emmet gets bored? All Human ONE-SHOT! A/U OOC I did try and make it funny...emphasis on try! well you decide if its funny or not!


Bella POV

The whole day Edward had been floating around me, not literally floating as that would be weird and rather strange, but he was a permanent dot in my peripheral vision and it was slightly annoying. I was just about to bundle up the courage to ask him what the hell his problem was until my giant goon of a brother burst through the kitchen door.

"Bella guess what!!!" was belted in my face as soon as Emmet got the chance to invade my personal space.

"Emmet" was all I said, not making any inkling that I wanted to know what his latest retarded realisation was.

"Ohh yeah 'personal space' and how I shouldn't park my fat, perfectly toned _sculpted_, ass in any one else's."

"Exactly" was my curt reply and off I walked leaving Mr. clingy and dumbass central behind.

I had finally settled in the lounge to read Wuthering Heights for the bajillionth time when Edward decided it was time for a comeback. For the most part I just sat there reading till he started trying, emphasis on trying here, to say something to me.

"Spit it out home fry!!! Gahh it's so annoying!!" I screamed after his 20 minute long gold fish impression.

He looked taken aback at my sudden outburst and then determination appeared in his eyes. His final attempt at trying to be a deep sea creature was cut off by frizzy blonde dude walking through and plucking me off the sofa in a fireman's lift.

Once again Edward was left in the dust.

"Jasper"

"Uhh huuh"

"Where are we going too???"

"Me and you are part of Emmet's 'super secret super smart plan cause I'm bored' or sssspcib for short even though it's still not short"

I just repeatedly banged my head against Jaspers back till he said to me it hurt so I stopped and we carried on walking.

Eventually we reached Emmet's den. It wasn't much of a den really; it looked like a 2 year old had gone crazy with wood and shower curtains in a secluded area of the garden and painted **FORT EMMET **in really bad hand writing on the side which was exactly what 17 year old him did.

"Quick inside" was a muffled shout from amongst the crap. Me and Jasper got down to the entrance but were stopped by a large dog that smelled like fish.

"Ughhh Emmet...there's a dog in the way..." said Jasper

"Throw the stick to move him!" Came another muffled reply; I swear dumbass was also muttered! The cheek I tell ya'

When we crawled inside al lovely smell was there to greet us.

"UHHHHHH" I shouted, retching in the process.

"Sorry I'm on a beans only diet" said Emmet as he handed us pegs. "Soo as I'm bored and Rosie and Alice have gone shopping I thought we could be mean to Edward!"

"That's really not very good at all you thick piece of shit" I said as I got up and left.

"FINE ME AND JASPER WILL JUST WORK ALONE!!!" Shouted Emmet at my retreating body.

"DUMBASSSSS!!!" was my reply as I flipped him the finger.

When I finally returned to the sofa I couldn't find my book anywhere.

I searched around the house till I found Edward sitting under the table sniffing it.

"Ughhh what'cha doing???!!!!" I asked

"Wahhh" was his reply as he jumped up and smacked his head on the table with a massive donk.

The now unconscious Edward lay crippled on the floor.

"I need new friends..." I said as I picked up my book and went back to the sofa.

I yawned and stretched then opened my eyes I must have fallen asleep. Ahh what a pretty sunset....pretty sunset!!!!!! I looked around and saw I was surrounded by trees

"EMMMMEEEETTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I SCREAMED.

*in the house about 5 miles away*

"Dude you know she's going to chop your nuts off!" said Jasper sitting next to Emmet

"Yep but she can only do that if she finds me" said Emmet

"Your funeral" Jasper said getting up and walking off

Edward POV

I don't know how and I don't know why but I am tied to a table in the middle of the woods.

"I bet you this was Emmet!!!" I thought out loud

"Hey! Edward! is that you!" I heard a familiar voice to my right. I looked up and saw that Bella was suspended from two trees on the sofa from her lounge.

"Yeah! But Bella don't move!" I said

"I got that dumbass but I got to get down so lemmme be!!" she said as I watched her crawl along the rope holding the sofa, them shimmy down the tree.

On the last 2 metres she slipped and fell on the ground with an ouff.

"You okay?" I asked

"Yeah" came the strained reply

She got up and limped to me.

"Before I untie you tell me what you have been trying to say all day!"

"Bella do you want to go to prom with me??" I asked, blushing

"Yes!!!" she screamed! "I was waiting for you to say that for ages!!"

She quickly untied me and we ran to the house.

When we got there we were met by Jasper who agreed to help us.

Me and him went and got Emmet from his 'DEN'and brought him back kicking and screaming.

"BELLA PLEASE DONT!!! IM YOUR BROTHER!!! YOU WANT TO BE AN AUNTY RIGHT!!!!" he kept pleading but Bella smirked evilly.

She whispered something to Jasper and he nodded.

"Outside" he said to me

"Tie each arm and leg to a those trees" came the command.

We retreated to a distance then Jasper whipped out a video camera.

"This will be gold!!" he said.

Bella approached Emmet's back, he was whimpering already.

"MEGA WEDGIE!!!!!!" Came Bella's scream as she yanked up Emmet's boxers. We all heard the material shredding as she put his waistband over his eyes and the screams that Emmet was giving out were of pitch that would make dogs cringe.

Me and Jasper were literally rolling on the floor laughing.

"This is soo going on YouTube!!!!" cried out Jasper over his tears of laughter.

We all went inside leaving Emmet outside, writhing in pain.

"Ha Rosie's going to murder us!" laughed Jasper

**THE END**

**Thank you for reading this!!!!! please Review!**


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